Xanadu’s Last Day

Our last day together

 We lost Xanadu on April 1, 2011 after spending the day in Moss Landing. It feels like my heart has been ripped out. My friend of nearly 13 years is gone. Poof. Even though I knew this day was coming, I really hoped it would be so much later. I told him he would make it to his 13th birthday on July 19.  How I wished we could’ve beat osteosarcoma.  We fought. Hard. But all we did was delay his death a bit.  He died on a good day. I am still coming to terms with his passing, but I am happy that my final memories of him are good ones. He rallied and enjoyed his last day on earth – he always loved the beach. And although he couldn’t chase tennis balls or birds, he got his paws wet and enjoyed the sunshine. What a beautiful day.

His passing was peaceful. He layed down in our backyard when we got home from the beach and he never got up again.  I think he knew it was time. He was calm and so full of love. God, I miss him so much it hurts. Although I stalled and considered waiting until another day, I know we did what was best for him.  He is no longer suffering, but I still miss him. I still feel him in our house. I think he is hanging around. I hope he knows I did everything I could to keep him with us. 

Our boys are still figuring out their feelings. Our 2-year-old asks for Xan every morning. His routine was to give both dogs a cookie. Now, he holds the cookie in his little hand and asks, “where Xani go?” – it is so sad. This morning he said, “Xani gone.” My 4 1/2 year old asked the other day how he can get to the Rainbow Bridge to see Xan because he misses him.   

Rest in peace, Xanadu.  I think of you every second and wonder how you are doing on the bridge. I will always love you and we will meet again someday. Until that time comes, know how much you are loved and missed. Goodbye old friend.

11 thoughts on “Xanadu’s Last Day”

  1. goodbye for now is not goodbye forever. what a wonderful life you shared, but even though, it never seems to be enough time. out thoughts are with you. love never ends.

    charon & gayle

  2. I know it’s so hard and you miss Xan terribly, but you gave him such a good life. And though you may not see it now, you gave your boys a precious gift, too, when you gave them a friend and showed them how to be compassionate and selfless. When you put Xan’s needs first, they saw that. They may be young, but they will always be touched by that.

    There are no words that make it better, but many people are thinking of your family and wishing you peace and precious memories. I’m so happy for Xanadu that he had such a wonderful life with you all.

    Shari

  3. Our hearts ache for you and your family. To see how happy Xan was on his last day does give some solace, though. He sure was a handsome boy.

    Ginger’s pack

  4. Xani couldn’t ask for a more beautiful day. Bless you for all you did for him, especially this final gift of such a sweet goodbye. Peace.

  5. Xanadu, you couldn’t have picked a greater pack to spend your time here on earth with. Although I know your family’s hearts are hurting, the memories of your time together will bring them comfort and help ease the tears that flow today.

    Xani, you are a true hero. Thank you for being a part of this community. Your story will continue to inspire others for years to come.

  6. What a beautiful poem, thanks for sharing it. Sad tears now but Happy Memories for everyone who ever met Xan.
    Love to all, Aunt Gin

  7. What a wonderful family you have been for Xanadu !
    I hope one day you will be able to think about all the good days you had with him. Don’t forget that what you have done for him is exceptional !

  8. So sorry for your loss, and so happy for the joy that was shared for almost 13 years. Remarkable story that brought fast tears to my eyes.

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