We lost Xanadu on April 1, 2011 after spending the day in Moss Landing. It feels like my heart has been ripped out. My friend of nearly 13 years is gone. Poof. Even though I knew this day was coming, I really hoped it would be so much later. I told him he would make it to his 13th birthday on July 19. How I wished we could’ve beat osteosarcoma. We fought. Hard. But all we did was delay his death a bit. He died on a good day. I am still coming to terms with his passing, but I am happy that my final memories of him are good ones. He rallied and enjoyed his last day on earth – he always loved the beach. And although he couldn’t chase tennis balls or birds, he got his paws wet and enjoyed the sunshine. What a beautiful day.
His passing was peaceful. He layed down in our backyard when we got home from the beach and he never got up again. I think he knew it was time. He was calm and so full of love. God, I miss him so much it hurts. Although I stalled and considered waiting until another day, I know we did what was best for him. He is no longer suffering, but I still miss him. I still feel him in our house. I think he is hanging around. I hope he knows I did everything I could to keep him with us.
Our boys are still figuring out their feelings. Our 2-year-old asks for Xan every morning. His routine was to give both dogs a cookie. Now, he holds the cookie in his little hand and asks, “where Xani go?” – it is so sad. This morning he said, “Xani gone.” My 4 1/2 year old asked the other day how he can get to the Rainbow Bridge to see Xan because he misses him.
Rest in peace, Xanadu. I think of you every second and wonder how you are doing on the bridge. I will always love you and we will meet again someday. Until that time comes, know how much you are loved and missed. Goodbye old friend.